Ramblings

Been a while since I've posted on this particular blog. Honestly, not much has happened, but felt the need to talk on here.

Really have gotten into the Blue Jackets with Teressa. Really enjoy watching podcasts when I can, reading up on the players, and learning more about other teams in the league. I've met some great people on Twitter that I meet up at the Cannon with at the games, and we converse on Twitter as well.

Personally, life is going well. Teressa and I are doing really well, and have no complaints. We are very much in sync with each other.

Logan and Emily are doing well in 6th grade at GEMS school. They have adapted well and are showing the results of the new educational way they have at the school. I'm very happy with the school and how they get them involved.

My oldest, Shannyn, is doing well. Working at a bank, her boyfriend is a Franklin County Sheriff, which I think is pretty awesome. They are doing well, and enjoy the time I spend with them.

Holli has started college, and just finished her first semester a couple weeks ago. She's here right now, and I'm enjoying having her around. She's here till the 10th, and hope to have some more fun times before she heads back to Florida.

Walk for Autism 2014

(This is from the letter I wrote to the SBSA employees for the 2014 Walk for Autism in Columbus, Oh)

At Step by Step, we began in 2003 as a small organization that served children with Autism. In the summer of 2007, my family and I joined this organization when my son was diagnosed and Step by Step was the only facility in the Columbus area that had an opening at that time.  Once he started here, we noticed the improvement almost right away. We were so happy about this improvement that we began to help at here at SBSA to give a little back.

               My contribution to this was getting a team to walk at the Inaugural Autism Speaks Walk for Autism that was held in Columbus, OH in October, 2008. Every year since, we have had a team walk to show our support for Autism Speaks, and to raise the awareness of what our kids, and others like them, need to thrive as they grow up.

               As we have grown in size and welcomed new employees, the team has grown. Some may not know the reason why the Step by Step team is named Melissa’s Missionaries, so I would like to explain it, as it’s very personal to me.

               Melissa is my late wife and she passed away on May 27^th, 2011 in Chelmsford, MA from Colorectal Cancer.  She was employed here, as I was for about 2 years before she passed. However, she had a passion for SBSA. When Logan first started here, she volunteered here at SBSA, teaching art to the kids. She loved every second of it, and it showed. Shortly after Logan started, SBSA went through a struggle with the state over funding. Her passion showed through when going to hearings, testifying on behalf of our son and SBSA, doing whatever she could. We were even spotlighted on the local news during this time. Due to her passion, as well as other parents at the time, SBSA survived, and even thrived. The Executive Director at the time loved Melissa’s passion, and asked her to come to work for SBSA.  She accepted, and worked in a variety of functions before she left due to health concerns.  No matter what she was asked, she did it with passion that never subsided.  That passion continues in our son, Logan who currently peers here, but was a consumer for about five years.

               It was with the blessing of the management team that we re-named our Walk for Autism team Melissa’s Missionaries in her honor. We wear the pink shirts, as that was her favorite color. Also, it helps Step by Step stand out, as we are meant to do. I believe there is no other organization that can touch us. The fact that my son is going into the 6^th grade at a main-stream school is a testament to what everyone here strives to do for all our kids.

               This year, the Walk for Autism is on Sunday, October 12^th, 2014. It is held in downtown Columbus at the beautiful Huntington Park. The first two years there have been simply amazing, and this year looks to be no different. The festivities kick off at 8:30, which includes a children’s area and a Resource Fair, which Step by Step participates in each year as well.

               We will wear the same pink shirts as we have in years past. If you plan on coming down, please register at our home page on the Walk for Autism website here. If you haven’t walked in the past, please let me know after you have registered that you need a shirt. If you have a shirt from years past, please bring that with you on the morning of the walk. I would like to ensure we have enough shirts, so the earlier you register, the better, as I have to place the order for additional shirts by the end of September to ensure I get them before the walk.

        

Wow...just Wow

It's been awhile since I blogged. Over a year in fact. So many cobwebs and dust on this blog. I'll have to do some cleaning.

Anyway, for those that follow this blog, I apologize for the lack of posts. My life has gotten to the point where time isn't my friend. I hope to get back to it more often.

What has happened? Not much. Just Logan starting middle school this fall, becoming a Columbus Blue Jackets Season ticket holder (yes...I'm that excited about hockey now).

Logan starting middle school is exciting for me. He's done so well with school, and I can't wait for him to embark on this adventure. He's not going to a CCS school, which is a good thing, as who knows how they would manipulate his attendance and grades.

I've gotten into hockey in a major way. Going to the games I did has gotten me excited about the sport, and the CBJ specifically. It's a different type of fan base. They look out for one another, and are very passionate both about the sport, and their favorite team. However, if player on another team gets seriously hurt, they immediately become concerned, and even try to help in some way. I haven't seen that in other sports. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, I just don't see it as much. And the CBJ fans...they are simply amazing.

I will update this blog periodically...just to give you the boring details of my life.  :)

Two years

It has been two years since my wife, Melissa Fraize-Morris, passed away in Chelsmford, Ma. She lost her life in a brave and courageous battle with colorectal cancer. Words aren't enough to convey how sad I was that day. Even now, I struggle to find the words. 

What I don't struggle with, is describing how I still feel about her. Love and admiration are the first things that come to mind. I loved her so much. I know that she loved me as well. It was one of those relationships that some people only dream about. She was my soulmate. Yes, we had our ups and downs over the 14  years we knew each other. What couple doesn't. 

So much has happened since she has passed. Logan is going to a regular school, and doing well. I feel that she has had a hand in that. This was our goal for him. I'm sad that she didn't get to see it happen, although I know she is smiling from above, very proud of him. He has even had a few experiences, such as going to a camp, that had helped him grow as a person. I know she was there with him.

Holli is growing into a beautiful young woman. She is so passionate, like her mother. Holli has been been through so much in her life, but like her mom, rose above all of it, and not let it define her. I couldn't be any more proud of her.

And me? I'm in a much better place than I was last year. I'm happy, and don't get as emotional now. I don't think she would want me to, as I have other things that I need to do and take care of, like Logan. She has, in my mind, had a hand in my happiness now. 

Although this is supposed to be a sad day, I have nothing but good memories in my mind today. Fourteen years of great memories, great times that no one can take away from me. We have two great and awesome kids together, and I see her in Logan everyday, and in Holli with each conversation we have. 

Melissa, I love you and miss you very much.

Moving Forward to the Past

Those that follow this blog, know what Memorial Day weekend is to me. Two years ago this Monday, the love of my life, Melissa Fraize-Morris, passed away. I could sit here and type out my feeling about this, but that will wait until Monday morning. But I did mark a major milestone today.

I've spend the past day going through things in my basement. It's been a long time coming, but something that needed to be done. I've been sitting on things and allowing items to stay in my basement, taking it over. And I did what I thought it would take me longer to do. I went through and donated all the clothing that Melissa had. Her shoes, coats, just about everything. I kept a few things that have sentimental value to me.

All the while I was doing this, I kept hearing a voice in the back of my head saying, "Why did you wait so long to do this?". That voice would be Melissa's. The answer? I really don't know. Probably a combination of laziness, time, and letting go of things. The last part was a little hard, but I realized, with the help of a few people, that I the things don't represent her, just things she owned. And that makes sense. She would have wanted me to pay it forward, giving her things to others in need, giving them hope and motivation to better themselves.

And then, something else happened. As I was moving things, opening up containers, bags etc., I came across something I had been looking for. It was a video tape from 2007. Christmas of that year meant alot to me for  some reason at that time, and still does, although in a different way now. That was the year that Holly got her cell phone.It wasn't for that fact it meant alot, but her reaction to it does. Her face, and practically flying at me says how much she appreciated it. We didn't have alot that year, so we made sure the kids had something. I have a feeling that Melissa was saving me finding that till this weekend.

I feel Melissa's presence everyday. I feel it when I'm at work, keeping me motivated. i feel it in my life, as she's helped lightening strike twice in my life. She was the first strike, and then shortly after she passed, allowed it to strike me again. I love you forever, as I know you show me how much I still mean to you.

Milestones

This weekend, Logan had his first chess tournament. The first of many to come, I hope. He had five matches, and went 1-4. The record doesn't matter though. The fact he wanted to go, and saw it through to the medal ceremony was huge to me. But something else happened there, that while I knew he could do it, and had been doing it, that I got to see for the first time.

Six years ago, Logan started at Step by Step Academy. He was a much different child back then. Not very verbal, very aggressive, and didn't show any kind of affection. Basically, in his own world. After getting on virtually every single waitlist we could find, We finally got accepted by Step by Step. Melissa worked tirelessly to get him in somewhere, so we could try and get him out of his world, and begin the move to ours.

Over the years, so many people have worked with him, got him to open up, and generally get him to the point he's at today. They deserve so much of the credit of allowing him to be in a regular school, as they helped him, and us, achieve that goal.

What I saw, getting back to the first paragraph, was him wanting to go outside to play. The tournament was at a church on the east side. Outside the room that was set aside for his school's team, was a playset with a slide, rope, swing, etc. There was some time between his last match and the medal ceremony. He wanted to go out and play. I watched him for a bit. Watching him run around, playing tag, and just chasing other kids (as well as being chased), almost made me cry. Just to watch him do that, made everything that we did at SBSA worth it. That few minutes watching him play was some of the most amazing minutes of my life.

He's one awesome kid, and I'm humbled to be his father and dad. I'm sure Melissa was smiling down as well, and would be as proud, if not prouder, than I am of him.

I love you, Logan....

Changes

Life can be a funny thing. You don't blog for a could months, things change. Case in point, Logan.

Logan has graduated from Step by Step. He is attending Devonshire Alternative Elementary. I initially wanted to get him into Avalon, but that was not meant to be at this time. I may still get him in there next year, in the ECLIPSE program, which is gifted and talented on steroids. So far, he is doing great, and I'm very happy about that. I'm sure Melissa is smiling down as well, knowing our boy is doing well, and making friends.


The first picture are some of the people who have been involved in his life at SBSA for the past five years. Derek, his old respite worker, in on the far left.

Another thing was that we lost our respite worker, Derek. He was such a part of this family. I can't thank him enough for everything he did in the past year. The change in Logan has been nothing short of incredible since Derek started with Logan. He went to Chicago to get his masters, as he wants to work with children with cancer and their families. It takes a special person to do that, and I think he can make a world a little bit better.

Going forward, other things will change, and time will reveal those changes in my life. I'm in a good place right now, and just happy as hell to have some awesome people in my life to talk to, lean on, and just plain have fun with and allow me to be myself.