What I don't struggle with, is describing how I still feel about her. Love and admiration are the first things that come to mind. I loved her so much. I know that she loved me as well. It was one of those relationships that some people only dream about. She was my soulmate. Yes, we had our ups and downs over the 14 years we knew each other. What couple doesn't.
So much has happened since she has passed. Logan is going to a regular school, and doing well. I feel that she has had a hand in that. This was our goal for him. I'm sad that she didn't get to see it happen, although I know she is smiling from above, very proud of him. He has even had a few experiences, such as going to a camp, that had helped him grow as a person. I know she was there with him.
Holli is growing into a beautiful young woman. She is so passionate, like her mother. Holli has been been through so much in her life, but like her mom, rose above all of it, and not let it define her. I couldn't be any more proud of her.
And me? I'm in a much better place than I was last year. I'm happy, and don't get as emotional now. I don't think she would want me to, as I have other things that I need to do and take care of, like Logan. She has, in my mind, had a hand in my happiness now.
Although this is supposed to be a sad day, I have nothing but good memories in my mind today. Fourteen years of great memories, great times that no one can take away from me. We have two great and awesome kids together, and I see her in Logan everyday, and in Holli with each conversation we have.
Melissa, I love you and miss you very much.
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