Christmas Eve Eve

With Christmas being so close, I want to take an opportunity to thank everyone for keeping me going this year. This, without a doubt, has been the toughest year I have ever had. The end of the year is bringing some emotions to me, as this was Melissa's favorite time of year, for many different reasons.

The most important reason to her was family. She enjoyed having family around, especially during the holidays. It made her relaxed, and happy. It was especially important when she was(officially) diagnosed, which was 3 years ago today. While it was a huge blow to us, having her parents here helped with some of the blow. Sadly, her parents could not be here this year, as it would be hard for my Father in law to travel right now.


To say I haven't been crying, would be a lie. It's really hard this year to be happy at Christmas time. Christmas morning is going to be hell, to be blunt. Not having my best friend there to share our kids excitement on Christmas morning is going to be very hard. She lived for those moments, and those are some of the fondest moments I have with her. It's been hard, especially the past few days, as I've had more time to think about it, being on a break from work.

But it is her love and that voice in the back of my head, telling me it's okay, that she is in a better place now. She's able to enjoy Christmas now, instead of worrying about all the pain she was in. I know that she will be there Christmas morning, as she would want to be there to see the looks on the kids faces as they open their presents. To me, that is the best gift I could get this year.

There is a saying that you don't know what you've got, until it's gone. I knew what I had the moment I met her. I had a loving, caring woman that had a passion for life, family, and most of all, her children. She had, and still has, love for all four of our kids. She embraced my daughters as they were her own. She, to me, was the perfect mother. I had someone that brought me to a better place, and made me a better person and husband. She helped make the world a better place through her work at Step by Step Academy.

Melissa, I miss you. I love you. Nothing will ever change that. And thank you. Thank you for loving me, allowing me into your life for 14 years. Sharing the good and bad times. We had more than our share of ups and downs together. But I could not have asked for a better partner to navigate the rough seas of life with.

Merry Christmas, Melissa. I Love you