It's been awhile since I've written on here. I get so wrapped up in the day to day things that I forget about this. Yet right now, I need this.
I've been talking with people about the "year of firsts". That first birthday, anniversary, kid's birthdays without you. Right now, I've hit Thanksgiving, Logan's Birthday, and next is Megan's birthday, Christmas, then Holly's in January, then Shannon's 18th in March...all right in a row. It hit me hard today that you won't be there for them. This is your favorite time of year. You loved to bake cookies, and I so loved the smell of them when you did. I was your "taste tester" as my belly proves. It makes me sad sometimes when I come home now, and all I see is the kitchen empty, all the baking supplies still in the cabinet. It hits me hard that you are no longer with me.
Christmas morning is going to be the toughest morning I will have since you passed. I'm afraid that I won't be able to get up and be as joyful as in years past. I think back to the past Christmas mornings, and smile at them, as they were happy moments. This year, I hope it is. I hope that everyone understands if I'm not in that jolly mood, because I will be missing you alot that day.
I know that you will be there, watching. The only ornament I hung, was the angel one I found that looks so much like you. I cried so hard when I found that, knowing that you were here with me, watching over us. What I wouldn't give to hold you again.
I Love you Baby....
1 comment:
I know just what you mean! This will be my first Christmas in 36 years without her....I taught her how to make those cookies we all loved...Now i'm teaching her daughter, so she can keep making them for her Dad and brother...Our hearts are all with her...I love my baby too.....
Post a Comment