Moving Forward to the Past

Those that follow this blog, know what Memorial Day weekend is to me. Two years ago this Monday, the love of my life, Melissa Fraize-Morris, passed away. I could sit here and type out my feeling about this, but that will wait until Monday morning. But I did mark a major milestone today.

I've spend the past day going through things in my basement. It's been a long time coming, but something that needed to be done. I've been sitting on things and allowing items to stay in my basement, taking it over. And I did what I thought it would take me longer to do. I went through and donated all the clothing that Melissa had. Her shoes, coats, just about everything. I kept a few things that have sentimental value to me.

All the while I was doing this, I kept hearing a voice in the back of my head saying, "Why did you wait so long to do this?". That voice would be Melissa's. The answer? I really don't know. Probably a combination of laziness, time, and letting go of things. The last part was a little hard, but I realized, with the help of a few people, that I the things don't represent her, just things she owned. And that makes sense. She would have wanted me to pay it forward, giving her things to others in need, giving them hope and motivation to better themselves.

And then, something else happened. As I was moving things, opening up containers, bags etc., I came across something I had been looking for. It was a video tape from 2007. Christmas of that year meant alot to me for  some reason at that time, and still does, although in a different way now. That was the year that Holly got her cell phone.It wasn't for that fact it meant alot, but her reaction to it does. Her face, and practically flying at me says how much she appreciated it. We didn't have alot that year, so we made sure the kids had something. I have a feeling that Melissa was saving me finding that till this weekend.

I feel Melissa's presence everyday. I feel it when I'm at work, keeping me motivated. i feel it in my life, as she's helped lightening strike twice in my life. She was the first strike, and then shortly after she passed, allowed it to strike me again. I love you forever, as I know you show me how much I still mean to you.