Right now, I'm sitting in the room with Melissa at chemo. We have about 2 hours left to go, and I just want to get home so she can be comfortable. What makes this one slightly rougher than most is the fact that today is our 10 year wedding anniversary. It's hard for me to think happy thought and about all the fun times we've had while she sitting there getting pumped full of chemo.
That being said, it's been a wonderful decade of marriage. We've had our share of ups and downs, similar to other marriages. I can't think of any other way to have it. We have a wonderful son who has brought us so much joy. Our daughter is a wonderful young lady who has a bright future ahead of her. I'm married to a wonderful woman who puts up with so much of my idiosyncrasies that she should be knighted or given a medal for it.
I know, in my heart of hearts, that we will be married for a long time to come. I can't imagine my life without her in it, and I will do all that I can to make sure she stays in it. I consider myself very lucky that we've been married this long, as many couples don't last this long.
I love you Melissa, with all my heart and soul.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Turn Signals
I've been doing quite a bit of driving recently. Between going to doctor's appointments with Melissa, to picking the kids up from school, grocery shopping, and other errands. The one thing I've noticed each and every time that I go out, is that many drivers do not signal their turns.
It's hard to believe that something as simple as pushing a lever up (to go right) or down (to go left) can be so complex. It seems that the art of the use of a turn signal is lost. I've even seen a police officer ignore a car in front of him not signal his right turn. I've seen people pulled over for less.
One of the first things I had to learn when I took my drivers ed was how to use a turn signal. I'm thinking maybe we need to get back to this. I would have failed my driving test had I not used my signal at anytime. If it's that critical on the driver's test, why can't it be just as critical in daily application? How many accidents would it stop?
Just my 2 cents.
It's hard to believe that something as simple as pushing a lever up (to go right) or down (to go left) can be so complex. It seems that the art of the use of a turn signal is lost. I've even seen a police officer ignore a car in front of him not signal his right turn. I've seen people pulled over for less.
One of the first things I had to learn when I took my drivers ed was how to use a turn signal. I'm thinking maybe we need to get back to this. I would have failed my driving test had I not used my signal at anytime. If it's that critical on the driver's test, why can't it be just as critical in daily application? How many accidents would it stop?
Just my 2 cents.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Update on Things
Since it's been about a month and a half, I figured I'd let everyone know what is going on.
As of the treatment two weeks ago (previous to the one this past weekend), her CEA count is down to 25, from 800 when she was first diagnosed. Her liver lesions have gone down in size anywhere from 10 to 30 percent (these are based on the various lesions on her liver they choose to watch). This is amazing news in such a short time.
We are very grateful to have such support from everyone. Although we are not in the clear yet, and the treatments still continue. They have added another drug called Avastin, which basically is an agent that cuts off the blood supply to the cancer. She's had two treatments with that, and it seems to be affecting her to a degree, although I can't confirm that for sure. She has been much more exhausted after the treatments the last two, and just hasn't been herself.
We have been keeping up with everything around the house, although with yardwork being re-introduced to the mix, it may get a little more interesting around here. To say that Holly will learn how to mow is an understatement. She may even get her green thumb this summer. We can't wait for Logan's waiver to kick in, so we can relax a bit and get some help with him.
As of the treatment two weeks ago (previous to the one this past weekend), her CEA count is down to 25, from 800 when she was first diagnosed. Her liver lesions have gone down in size anywhere from 10 to 30 percent (these are based on the various lesions on her liver they choose to watch). This is amazing news in such a short time.
We are very grateful to have such support from everyone. Although we are not in the clear yet, and the treatments still continue. They have added another drug called Avastin, which basically is an agent that cuts off the blood supply to the cancer. She's had two treatments with that, and it seems to be affecting her to a degree, although I can't confirm that for sure. She has been much more exhausted after the treatments the last two, and just hasn't been herself.
We have been keeping up with everything around the house, although with yardwork being re-introduced to the mix, it may get a little more interesting around here. To say that Holly will learn how to mow is an understatement. She may even get her green thumb this summer. We can't wait for Logan's waiver to kick in, so we can relax a bit and get some help with him.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Latest Happenings
Not much has happened since the last posting, which is probably a good thing.
Melissa's last treatment went much better than the first one. No ER visit, no hospital stay. The only issue regarding the last treatment was some weakness, and she caught whatever is going around (as I did as well, but after 6 days, I think I've beaten it). She's over it as well. We are looking forward to the next treatment this weekend, although for me it's going to be a bit of a challenge. I'll explain that shortly.
One of the side effects, the hair loss, has come upon her. It's not completely gone. It's thinned out, and I think she still looks good. Her mother has trimmed it shorter, and it looks really good. She has bought two different wigs so far, and will purchase a third soon at a wig party that some friends from work will have for her in a few weeks. The wigs make her look really good, and it looks so real. I'm amazed how good it looks.
One good thing that has happened is that we have some in-home help with Logan. This will be so valuable during Melissa's treatments, and the couple days afterwards. I'm very grateful for that.
As I stated before, this next treatment will be a slight challenge for me. Melissa's parents left on Monday to go back home. While part of me is relieved that they did leave (I get my space back, so to speak), a bigger part of me misses having them. I think with them around, the general stress level is down, as many of the more mundane household chores got done. Now, it falls all on me, and I'm hoping that I can get as much done as I can, yet still care for Melissa. I'm slightly worried, but I'm hoping it's over nothing.
Melissa's last treatment went much better than the first one. No ER visit, no hospital stay. The only issue regarding the last treatment was some weakness, and she caught whatever is going around (as I did as well, but after 6 days, I think I've beaten it). She's over it as well. We are looking forward to the next treatment this weekend, although for me it's going to be a bit of a challenge. I'll explain that shortly.
One of the side effects, the hair loss, has come upon her. It's not completely gone. It's thinned out, and I think she still looks good. Her mother has trimmed it shorter, and it looks really good. She has bought two different wigs so far, and will purchase a third soon at a wig party that some friends from work will have for her in a few weeks. The wigs make her look really good, and it looks so real. I'm amazed how good it looks.
One good thing that has happened is that we have some in-home help with Logan. This will be so valuable during Melissa's treatments, and the couple days afterwards. I'm very grateful for that.
As I stated before, this next treatment will be a slight challenge for me. Melissa's parents left on Monday to go back home. While part of me is relieved that they did leave (I get my space back, so to speak), a bigger part of me misses having them. I think with them around, the general stress level is down, as many of the more mundane household chores got done. Now, it falls all on me, and I'm hoping that I can get as much done as I can, yet still care for Melissa. I'm slightly worried, but I'm hoping it's over nothing.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Never Walk Alone
Right now, I'm sitting in the OSU Emergency Room with Melissa. She's had an adverse reaction to the Chemo or possibly the nausea medicine that they prescribed. I'm still waiting to hear about that. While I've been sitting here checking some things online about chemo and all that it is (I feel like I don't know much about it, like a babe in the woods type thing), something occurred to me.
It occurred to me that I'm not alone in this. I do have her and my family here for immediate support, both with the kids and the house. But I also have the support of all of those who I talk to on Facebook. I've always been a stubborn person. I rarely ask for help from friends. I always preferred to take something on myself, as if I have something to prove.
The support, prayers, and encouragement that I've recieved from everyone has been nothing short of amazing to me. It does inspire me, gives me a reason to smile, and, most importantly, a pool of strength to draw on when it does get rough, like right now.
I freely admit that I've broken down a few times during this past month. It's not easy for me to admit that. I know what I have with Melissa, and it's been hard to see her in pain, and not knowing what the immediate future holds. It does seem brighter, now that we've begun the treatment. I see this current ER visit as a bump in the road.
To all those that have sent well wishes, you have my deepest thanks and sincerest appreciation. Like the Verizon Wireless commercials, I feel like I have the power of one of the best networks behind me. It means so much to me, and is something that I'm not sure how I can every repay.
It occurred to me that I'm not alone in this. I do have her and my family here for immediate support, both with the kids and the house. But I also have the support of all of those who I talk to on Facebook. I've always been a stubborn person. I rarely ask for help from friends. I always preferred to take something on myself, as if I have something to prove.
The support, prayers, and encouragement that I've recieved from everyone has been nothing short of amazing to me. It does inspire me, gives me a reason to smile, and, most importantly, a pool of strength to draw on when it does get rough, like right now.
I freely admit that I've broken down a few times during this past month. It's not easy for me to admit that. I know what I have with Melissa, and it's been hard to see her in pain, and not knowing what the immediate future holds. It does seem brighter, now that we've begun the treatment. I see this current ER visit as a bump in the road.
To all those that have sent well wishes, you have my deepest thanks and sincerest appreciation. Like the Verizon Wireless commercials, I feel like I have the power of one of the best networks behind me. It means so much to me, and is something that I'm not sure how I can every repay.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Update
Today was the first day of Chemotherapy. She did very well. It felt like we spend more time waiting for the blood test results to come back then the actual chemo. I must say that the nurses at the James Clinic at the Martha Morehouse medical center are some of the best nurses I've ever seen.
Right now she is resting with the third drug that needs to be continuously pumped into her body for 46 hours. While we were told about the potential side affects, I'm hoping they are limited, so she can enjoy having her brother here this weekend.
We are very hopeful that this will treat the cancer and push it into remission forever. Prayer and determination will takes us very far.
Right now she is resting with the third drug that needs to be continuously pumped into her body for 46 hours. While we were told about the potential side affects, I'm hoping they are limited, so she can enjoy having her brother here this weekend.
We are very hopeful that this will treat the cancer and push it into remission forever. Prayer and determination will takes us very far.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Update on Melissa
Some things have changed since the last post. We have found out that the cancer has spread to her liver. She doesn't have liver cancer, but the rectal cancer has spread to her liver. She goes in tomorrow to have a port put in her so they can start the chemo on Friday. On Friday, she will begin a 46 hour regimen of chemotherapy. From what I've gathered on my research, this is a fairly new procedure, and seems to be effective.
I am hopeful that this will shrink the growths down enough that they can remove them. While it is something that she (and I) will have to deal with for the rest of our lives, I would rather do that, then not have her at all.
It's tough to see her in pain, and not be the happy person she normally is. My mind does wander from time to time, but I quickly get rid of those thoughts and move on. I have four kids to worry about, including Logan's treatment, Holly's school work, Shannon and Megan are always on my mind as well. I have to be strong for them, and more importantly for Melissa. I'm sure the toughest is yet to come.
I'm very confident that we'll beat this. I have hope, and I'll use that as much as I can.
I am hopeful that this will shrink the growths down enough that they can remove them. While it is something that she (and I) will have to deal with for the rest of our lives, I would rather do that, then not have her at all.
It's tough to see her in pain, and not be the happy person she normally is. My mind does wander from time to time, but I quickly get rid of those thoughts and move on. I have four kids to worry about, including Logan's treatment, Holly's school work, Shannon and Megan are always on my mind as well. I have to be strong for them, and more importantly for Melissa. I'm sure the toughest is yet to come.
I'm very confident that we'll beat this. I have hope, and I'll use that as much as I can.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Life, and it's strange twists
There are several things in life that make you stop and reflect on things. Having a child, a death of someone close to you, marriage (or making a commitment to another person in front of friends and family) are all examples of this.
I recently had one of those moments. The Tuesday before Christmas, I found out that my wife had cancer. Specifically, colonrectal cancer. Needless to say, I was in a state of shock. In some ways, I still am. Someone her age, and she's younger than me, has cancer. It feels like a body blow that I've not recovered from.
I find myself thinking about the potential outcomes of all of this. Some of them, to be honest, aren't very pretty. And I'm scared. The person to whom I've dedicated my life to, in some ways is fighting for her own life. I feel helpless sometimes. It's hard to see someone whom you love suffer. And I do think about our kids and how this will impact them. I think that is the hardest part of all of this.
Through all of it, I've remained as positive as I can be. She's being treated at the Ohio State James Cancer Center, which is considered one of the best cancer hospitals in the nation. That gives me hope, and the determination to help her beat this thing. Most of those who know me, know that I am an optimist. Someone who always sees the good in any situation. While this situation will try that optimism, I'm confident that I, along with Melissa, can win.
I will try and keep everyone updated throughout all of this. I can't make any promises, as we don't know what road we will be going down as we travel. I hope that my next blog will be a positive, more uplifting, post.
I recently had one of those moments. The Tuesday before Christmas, I found out that my wife had cancer. Specifically, colonrectal cancer. Needless to say, I was in a state of shock. In some ways, I still am. Someone her age, and she's younger than me, has cancer. It feels like a body blow that I've not recovered from.
I find myself thinking about the potential outcomes of all of this. Some of them, to be honest, aren't very pretty. And I'm scared. The person to whom I've dedicated my life to, in some ways is fighting for her own life. I feel helpless sometimes. It's hard to see someone whom you love suffer. And I do think about our kids and how this will impact them. I think that is the hardest part of all of this.
Through all of it, I've remained as positive as I can be. She's being treated at the Ohio State James Cancer Center, which is considered one of the best cancer hospitals in the nation. That gives me hope, and the determination to help her beat this thing. Most of those who know me, know that I am an optimist. Someone who always sees the good in any situation. While this situation will try that optimism, I'm confident that I, along with Melissa, can win.
I will try and keep everyone updated throughout all of this. I can't make any promises, as we don't know what road we will be going down as we travel. I hope that my next blog will be a positive, more uplifting, post.
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