Never Walk Alone

Right now, I'm sitting in the OSU Emergency Room with Melissa. She's had an adverse reaction to the Chemo or possibly the nausea medicine that they prescribed. I'm still waiting to hear about that. While I've been sitting here checking some things online about chemo and all that it is (I feel like I don't know much about it, like a babe in the woods type thing), something occurred to me.

It occurred to me that I'm not alone in this. I do have her and my family here for immediate support, both with the kids and the house. But I also have the support of all of those who I talk to on Facebook. I've always been a stubborn person. I rarely ask for help from friends. I always preferred to take something on myself, as if I have something to prove.

The support, prayers, and encouragement that I've recieved from everyone has been nothing short of amazing to me. It does inspire me, gives me a reason to smile, and, most importantly, a pool of strength to draw on when it does get rough, like right now.

I freely admit that I've broken down a few times during this past month. It's not easy for me to admit that. I know what I have with Melissa, and it's been hard to see her in pain, and not knowing what the immediate future holds. It does seem brighter, now that we've begun the treatment. I see this current ER visit as a bump in the road.

To all those that have sent well wishes, you have my deepest thanks and sincerest appreciation. Like the Verizon Wireless commercials, I feel like I have the power of one of the best networks behind me. It means so much to me, and is something that I'm not sure how I can every repay.

Update

Today was the first day of Chemotherapy. She did very well. It felt like we spend more time waiting for the blood test results to come back then the actual chemo. I must say that the nurses at the James Clinic at the Martha Morehouse medical center are some of the best nurses I've ever seen.

Right now she is resting with the third drug that needs to be continuously pumped into her body for 46 hours. While we were told about the potential side affects, I'm hoping they are limited, so she can enjoy having her brother here this weekend.

We are very hopeful that this will treat the cancer and push it into remission forever. Prayer and determination will takes us very far.

Update on Melissa

Some things have changed since the last post. We have found out that the cancer has spread to her liver. She doesn't have liver cancer, but the rectal cancer has spread to her liver. She goes in tomorrow to have a port put in her so they can start the chemo on Friday. On Friday, she will begin a 46 hour regimen of chemotherapy. From what I've gathered on my research, this is a fairly new procedure, and seems to be effective.

I am hopeful that this will shrink the growths down enough that they can remove them. While it is something that she (and I) will have to deal with for the rest of our lives, I would rather do that, then not have her at all.

It's tough to see her in pain, and not be the happy person she normally is. My mind does wander from time to time, but I quickly get rid of those thoughts and move on. I have four kids to worry about, including Logan's treatment, Holly's school work, Shannon and Megan are always on my mind as well. I have to be strong for them, and more importantly for Melissa. I'm sure the toughest is yet to come.

I'm very confident that we'll beat this. I have hope, and I'll use that as much as I can.

Life, and it's strange twists

There are several things in life that make you stop and reflect on things. Having a child, a death of someone close to you, marriage (or making a commitment to another person in front of friends and family) are all examples of this.

I recently had one of those moments. The Tuesday before Christmas, I found out that my wife had cancer. Specifically, colonrectal cancer. Needless to say, I was in a state of shock. In some ways, I still am. Someone her age, and she's younger than me, has cancer. It feels like a body blow that I've not recovered from.

I find myself thinking about the potential outcomes of all of this. Some of them, to be honest, aren't very pretty. And I'm scared. The person to whom I've dedicated my life to, in some ways is fighting for her own life. I feel helpless sometimes. It's hard to see someone whom you love suffer. And I do think about our kids and how this will impact them. I think that is the hardest part of all of this.

Through all of it, I've remained as positive as I can be. She's being treated at the Ohio State James Cancer Center, which is considered one of the best cancer hospitals in the nation. That gives me hope, and the determination to help her beat this thing. Most of those who know me, know that I am an optimist. Someone who always sees the good in any situation. While this situation will try that optimism, I'm confident that I, along with Melissa, can win.

I will try and keep everyone updated throughout all of this. I can't make any promises, as we don't know what road we will be going down as we travel. I hope that my next blog will be a positive, more uplifting, post.