Milestones

This weekend, Logan had his first chess tournament. The first of many to come, I hope. He had five matches, and went 1-4. The record doesn't matter though. The fact he wanted to go, and saw it through to the medal ceremony was huge to me. But something else happened there, that while I knew he could do it, and had been doing it, that I got to see for the first time.

Six years ago, Logan started at Step by Step Academy. He was a much different child back then. Not very verbal, very aggressive, and didn't show any kind of affection. Basically, in his own world. After getting on virtually every single waitlist we could find, We finally got accepted by Step by Step. Melissa worked tirelessly to get him in somewhere, so we could try and get him out of his world, and begin the move to ours.

Over the years, so many people have worked with him, got him to open up, and generally get him to the point he's at today. They deserve so much of the credit of allowing him to be in a regular school, as they helped him, and us, achieve that goal.

What I saw, getting back to the first paragraph, was him wanting to go outside to play. The tournament was at a church on the east side. Outside the room that was set aside for his school's team, was a playset with a slide, rope, swing, etc. There was some time between his last match and the medal ceremony. He wanted to go out and play. I watched him for a bit. Watching him run around, playing tag, and just chasing other kids (as well as being chased), almost made me cry. Just to watch him do that, made everything that we did at SBSA worth it. That few minutes watching him play was some of the most amazing minutes of my life.

He's one awesome kid, and I'm humbled to be his father and dad. I'm sure Melissa was smiling down as well, and would be as proud, if not prouder, than I am of him.

I love you, Logan....

Holiday Feelings.....

It's been awhile since I've written on here. I get so wrapped up in the day to day things that I forget about this. Yet right now, I need this.

I've been talking with people about the "year of firsts". That first birthday, anniversary, kid's birthdays without you. Right now, I've hit Thanksgiving, Logan's Birthday, and next is Megan's birthday, Christmas, then Holly's in January, then Shannon's 18th in March...all right in a row. It hit me hard today that you won't be there for them. This is your favorite time of year. You loved to bake cookies, and I so loved the smell of them when you did. I was your "taste tester" as my belly proves. It makes me sad sometimes when I come home now, and all I see is the kitchen empty, all the baking supplies still in the cabinet. It hits me hard that you are no longer with me.

Christmas morning is going to be the toughest morning I will have since you passed. I'm afraid that I won't be able to get up and be as joyful as in years past. I think back to the past Christmas mornings, and smile at them, as they were happy moments. This year, I hope it is. I hope that everyone understands if I'm not in that jolly mood, because I will be missing you alot that day.

I know that you will be there, watching. The only ornament I hung, was the angel one I found that looks so much like you. I cried so hard when I found that, knowing that you were here with me, watching over us. What I wouldn't give to hold you again.

I Love you Baby....

Latest Happenings

Not much has happened since the last posting, which is probably a good thing.

Melissa's last treatment went much better than the first one. No ER visit, no hospital stay. The only issue regarding the last treatment was some weakness, and she caught whatever is going around (as I did as well, but after 6 days, I think I've beaten it). She's over it as well. We are looking forward to the next treatment this weekend, although for me it's going to be a bit of a challenge. I'll explain that shortly.

One of the side effects, the hair loss, has come upon her. It's not completely gone. It's thinned out, and I think she still looks good. Her mother has trimmed it shorter, and it looks really good. She has bought two different wigs so far, and will purchase a third soon at a wig party that some friends from work will have for her in a few weeks. The wigs make her look really good, and it looks so real. I'm amazed how good it looks.

One good thing that has happened is that we have some in-home help with Logan. This will be so valuable during Melissa's treatments, and the couple days afterwards. I'm very grateful for that.

As I stated before, this next treatment will be a slight challenge for me. Melissa's parents left on Monday to go back home. While part of me is relieved that they did leave (I get my space back, so to speak), a bigger part of me misses having them. I think with them around, the general stress level is down, as many of the more mundane household chores got done. Now, it falls all on me, and I'm hoping that I can get as much done as I can, yet still care for Melissa. I'm slightly worried, but I'm hoping it's over nothing.

A long time..again

Well, It's been a long strange football season. First, Ohio State (AGAIN!!!) goes to the Championship game, only to be used as a whipping boy for an SEC team.

However, my season can come to a happy conclusion this Sunday. The New England Patriots, at 18-0, have a chance to become the only team in history to play a 16 game season, and go undefeated. I can hear the 72 Dolphins now. They say this did it first...true..you did. However, you did it before free agency, parity, and the 16 game season. You want New England to be 1b. I don't think so. You can't compare what you did then to what they are about to do. Spygate? One game of the year. If New England lost the rest of the year, then maybe I"d buy into that.

I'm super ready for the Super Bowl. I honestly can't wait. Bring on the Giants.

Now, with the recent fight that I'm engaged in with ODJFS here with regards to my son and what type of treatment he is entitled to, let's just say I'd rather win that fight over any other. Those who don't know my son, nor have the skill set to properly diagnose my son, shouldn't be involved in, or allowed to effect, what type of treatment he gets. Let the people qualified to make that judgment do that.

Just my two cents.